How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

NEVER

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

Yes

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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