There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops