My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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womens rights.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops