If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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