"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

A guy walks into a bar

why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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