Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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