Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Who hangs out with a girl all day every day while he's dating her for 4 months and still doesn't get his wiener touched. Adam claypool

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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