Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Jebron Lames.

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Burp

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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