What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

your momma is so fat she has diabetes

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

Potassium? K.

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...