Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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star wars kid

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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