How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops