A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops