How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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jews

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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A guy walks into a bar

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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HELLO EVERYONE

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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How old are you? 7

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops