Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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Whats 1+1? window!

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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