Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

Steve Jobs is alive.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

what did the man say to the other man? hey

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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