Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

your face

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

Get on the boat.

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...