Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops