What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

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Take part of what?

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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