How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

I have read and agreed to the terms of service

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

Rylan Clark

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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