Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. -Albert Einstein... LOL JOKES my name is PJ.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops