What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops