What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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