american idol

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Why couldn't jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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