Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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