Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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