What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops