Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +5

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops