Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

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Immigration Laws

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops