The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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a man was shot.... he died

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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