Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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