Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops