Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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