knock knock. who's there? 9/11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Roses are red Violets are blue classic

I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

A dead guy walks into a grave.

Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

whats black? the colour

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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