A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats funny? Your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops