Fat? Jesse Z

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who is Dank? A: Billal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops