An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wow! I've seen this joke before!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops