Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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call me maybe.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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