Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Your adopted

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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pudding

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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