Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops