Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

SHUT UP JP

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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