Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

thumb_up thumb_down

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

thumb_up thumb_down

yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

thumb_up thumb_down

what did one elephant say to the other one? nothing silly elepehants dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops