Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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