Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

Donald Trump

Ben Corbishley

You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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