A man wearing a 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelet and a livestrong bracelet goes up to a blind kid and rubs his eyes and the kid can see. The kid was was not used to the bright lights and wandered into traffic, was hit by a car and killed instantly.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Not having any arms.

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops