What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A blonde girl walks into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

42

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -27

An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

thumb_up thumb_down -29

the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"Knock knock" Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops