Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

quantum physics?

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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