A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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