How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why did sally drop her drink? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock Knock. "whos there?" Not sally.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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