A man walks into a bar and wakes up in the hospital with a mild concussion.

Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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