A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

Your big dick.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

I Have a Black Friend

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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