I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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good looking women

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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