Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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NEVER

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Dakota Fanning

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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