Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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i dont fisish anythi

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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