How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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