A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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