i like turtles

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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knock knock who's there? doorbell repairman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops