How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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baloney sandwich

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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i 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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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