Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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